Depleted. The only word I can use to describe my life right now. Sometimes I wish I could be a cheery, bubbly blogger and throw out fun giveaways and surprises but that's just not where I'm at yet. Last week >>>Hurricane Matthew<<< hit a few miles off our home. We had to evacuate and go to my brother's friends home, whom we never met, for a week. This storm tossed me a good one and I was at my complete max ready to explode.
Kids (make that toddler boys) and change do NOT mix, add move across country, confined spaces, evacuation and it's a bad recipe for explosion.
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You know that feeling when you see the first bud of Spring or the first sprout pop up in fresh mud? That's how I feel. There's all this tension and painful growth happening under the surface and then bursts of sunshine, some rain and a little baby seedling finally sprouts up. At least that's what I'm clinging to that we'll burst out in full blossom after all these hurdles and storms we've endured.
<<I feel so blessed to be living on a beautiful island but there's so much painful growth happening>>
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Storms of life can toss us all about but I believe God redirects that inevitable explosion into beautiful blossom.
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It's pretty crazy the storms we can endure when God allows them. He doesn't make us struggle or enjoy watching us suffer, but He does allow storms so we can grow stronger. I recently read a cute little blurb about a flower firmly rooted under a large live oak tree. That little flower felt safe from the storms and hot sun, sheltered under the strong tree from all the wind, rain, sleet and snow. Then one day a woodsman came and cut down the oak tree, exposing that little flower to all the harsh realities of nature and storms. She was forced to face them.
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The flower didn't shrivel up and wilt away, she bloomed into her fullest, most beautiful blossom.
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I have to believe all these harsh realities and difficult transitions we've faced this year weren't for nothing. God wasn't bringing us through difficult transitions for fun. He sees the big picture and what's best for us. There's tension and growth and then there's bloom and blossom.
><><><The storm settles, decks get repaired, trees get cleaned up, life goes on and something really beautiful happens after a storm, there's this wonderful peace and new growth><><><
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In the book of Matthew (Hurricane Matthew?), Jesus invites and encourages us to come to Him, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gently and humble in heart, and you will fill find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29
The thing is I do find rest in Jesus. ....when I do come to Him.
I cry and sometimes scream in my car. I'm beyond my limits with changes and so done living out suitcases, my strength to be a good mom has run out, my energy to keep things fun for my kids in transition has emptied, my patience has run dry. And that my friend is why we need Jesus. We CAN'T go through storms without him. Sometimes growth hurts so bad my bones ache, at times it's so lonely it hurts to cry and then I go to the park with my kids, take a deep breathe and say "Thank you Jesus I praise you" a million times and I find peace again.
><><It's painful to grow but the blossom is beautiful><><
Love to you,
From the Island
Letter #5 Survive a Hurricane
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