My fuse was short, I was dodging through traffic with a stiff back and white knuckles, horns honking everywhere I drove. I stopped at one coffee shop and it was chaos, every table was full, the line was out the door. I drove to another coffee shop and it was 30 minute parking, that wasn't going to cut it. I went back the opposite direction to a third coffee shop and a cop told me it was 'bus zone' parking ....ummm really? Was I ever going to find some peace and quiet in this crazy Uptown? I literally had to fight for solitude. I love my babies with all my heart but all I wanted in this day in this moment was to run away to the middle of nowhere-land and lose the buzz of car horns and chaos. I didn't realize how much my heart needed solitude and sunshine, and a massage until I finally found a quiet nook at a coffee shop. Isn't that such the picture of being a mom? I love being home right in the mess of it all, laundry and toys, dishes and dust, but all I need is a few hours every week to get away and calm my heart and a few minutes throughout the day to rest in Jesus. I have to fight for that time every week. Time to take a deep breath and lay all my cares down onto Jesus.
"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:29-30
I made it to my massage, as she pushed out every stress from my body, the honking horns and racing cars seemed far off into the distance, all I could hear was the silence and soft sounds of piano and I realized there's a lot of people in this world, there's a lot racing around here and there, cars buzzing, tension in the lower back and if we don't fight for solitude with Jesus and listen to his soft voice then how can we expect to have the strength to fight for people?
It wasn't until I was in the middle of my massage and let go of all the stresses of the day that I realized the true meaning of last week's sermon: IF we lived our life with love as a habit how would we live differently?
Our culture tries to make exercise a habit and diets a habit, if only we make it to that 21 day mark right? We start the daily race every morning and buzz through without ever realizing our heart's need for solitude and time with Jesus. And before we know it we become complacent, lukewarm, apathetic and completely forget about Almighty God and His power and presence to transform our hearts and minds. We think we got it under control, we don't need God, we can follow our checklist, keep to ourselves, park our cars in the garage and go straight inside our homes completely blinded to the fact that we need Jesus. We need a Savior. We need His calming presence. We need His guidance. Without Jesus in my day, my fuse gets shorter, my patience runs out, my joy fades, and grace for my family disappears. I don't have love in my heart for others. It's ONLY in Jesus that I can love anyone or make love a habit. My heart longs to see hearts changed, lives changed and people living in freedom by the power of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice on the cross and that only happens when we lay down our pride and repent.
So thank you pistachio muffin for giving me a moment to catch my breath and thank you Vizi Salon for an hour of relaxation.
Sincerely, me
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