Beauty Among Thorns: FALLin' in love with Mommyhood

Mommyhood has opened my eyes to a whole new world.

3 short lessons I've quickly learned:

It is eye opening to realize how intense moms compare to each other.

It is more full of challenges than I could imagine.

It is the most beautiful love I could ever dream.

I quickly learned the hot buttons among women: birth control, epidurals, breastfeeding, and vaccinations. I don't bring these topics up to offend, but to shed light on our tendency as women to hurt each other. I know I've gotten swept up in the emotion and said my share of hurtful comments, but I quickly learned I need to be more conscious of what I say and be more kind how I say it. I would listen to moms (and women) compare to each other. It's full of comic relief and hurtful words all at the same time. Why do we women find the need to compare?

Comic relief: We compare who has more milk supply, who can and cannot breastfeed, how long one has the option to breastfeed.

Consider: Not every mom can breastfeed and that mom doesn't have the option of breast milk to give her baby those nutrients.

Comic relief: We compare who had an epidural and who went all natural.

Consider: A mom with an epidural can experience that bond just as beautifully or some moms are forced to do a C-section delivery or have complications and can't see their baby for some time.

We compare notes on vaccinate or don't vaccinate and make comments like vaccines can give your baby lifelong disabilities. We compare opinions and let emotions fly.

It might be comic relief as we listen to what women say to each other but let's consider thinking before we let those hurtful words fly out. I know I need to think before I speak.

Lesson #1: To be more kind and considerate what we say to each other. Moms (women) need to build each other up not tear each other down. I understand how those hurtful comments can break down our strength to be a great mom on a daily basis and I never want to make any mom feel that way ever again. We have the opportunity to learn from each other and grow together.

I'm often asked how I'm sleeping. There's all these assumptions that moms get no sleep, no time to themselves, no quiet time. It's almost Asher's half birthday and I don't see the challenges people talk about (yet!!), but I have quickly realized other challenges I couldn't imagine.

Being a mom comes very naturally and instinctively; somehow God blesses moms with the ability to wake up for 2am feedings (while Dad can snore straight through!) and gives us the strength to care for our baby throughout the day.

But being a great mom brings a whole new set of challenges I never imagined. It takes skills that need to be practiced.

All this time I'm responding to people as if mommyhood is easy, I got it in the bag and never understood what these "challenges" were they speak of. Don't get me wrong, I'm not naïve to believe the challenges don't come as Asher grows up, but I never imagined all the skills I need to practice if I'm striving to be a great mom.

Lesson #2: We can just be a mom or we can strive to be a great mom. We can "just show up" to a pottery class but unless we sit at the wheel and practice molding the clay, we will never make a beautiful bowl. We can just show up being a wife or being a mom, but I don't want to just show up, I want to strive for something beautiful.

Some women suffer with the real emotional issue of post partum depression. I'll be completely vulnerable and share I have experienced symptoms. I didn't know they were at the time, but on those dark, murky days what brought me through was my faith in God and the beautiful love I feel for my son.

Asher is a sweet little life that God has given me to nurture and love. On the days I'm stuck in my pajamas and can't seem to get to the shower, I could easily curl up and give into those feelings of depression, but I look over to Asher and see this sweet little face staring back at me communicating he needs me, he needs his mommy to be strong, he needs to go for walks, and he wants to explore the world with his mom.

Lesson #3: My selfishness becomes smaller as my beautiful love for Asher grows bigger. I look at his little shoes thrown on the floor or the little monsters on his clothes or listen to his little giggles and quickly those feelings of depression dissipate. We don't have time to waste as moms to curl up, we have little lives to love and nurture.