Am I still valuable? pt. 2

My husband came home from work and saw me still in my pajamas. First words out of his mouth, "Hey lazy" then proceeds to kiss me hello. Did I mention being seen as lazy was one of my worst fears? There have been days I scurry around tidying up the place right before he gets home just so it will "look" like I did more than he could tell. Then lightbulb #1 came on... I have been putting my value in how much of my to-do list is checked off each day.

I know I'm not alone on this one. Stay-at-home moms, wives I've talked to feel the need to have something to show for their day. We are not all traveling rockstars or world renowned authors or sought after artists filling our days with glamorous careers. We aren't supposed to put our value in those identities anyway. Take away "what you do" for a living and what do you have left? That is where you begin to look for your value.

Lightbulb #2 came on yesterday while I was laying in the darkness of our room not able to sleep....I have been devaluing myself because I do not have a job. I applied for this interesting non-profit supervisor positing a few years back, didn't get it then, the job came up again recently and someone 5 years younger than me got it. Am I really letting that bother me? Really?

On one side, I hear "you are worthless, you didn't get the job" and on the other side, I hear God quietly whispering "Heidi, let me tell you a little secret, I don't value you by what job you have or how much you accomplish in a day. I value you by the woman I made you to be."

Is that a freeing thought or what?
That leaves the question.... who is the woman God made me to be then?

So tell me... what is underneath your job title?
What is underneath your mask of emotion?

Peel away all your layers and are you finding value in the woman you are underneath?

 "a girl can be one way on the outside and another way on the inside. But, I think it's what's underneath that really counts."

I was reading in old journals and discovered God is working out our salvation in our place of brokenness. God won't relent until He has our heart and He waits until we are authentically broken. In that time He can make us and mold us into the women He wants us to be. C.S. Lewis said, "The breaking process is a catalyzing process that ultimately helps the soul reach its potential. We need to be broken in order to be humbled. An unbridled soul restricts God's work in a person's life. That kind of soul cannot be guided. Energy cannot be harnessed in the untamed state."

Imagine that..... we are all wild stallions and God is taming us so our true beauty can shine out. We go through times of brokenness, times of wondering why we didn't get a job, feeling we didn't accomplish anything that day, but none of that matters to God. His goal is to peel away our layers and get us humbled so He can tame us, and ultimately bring us to our most beautiful potential.

Our most beautiful potential. Hmmm.....let's think about that one for a minute. God sees the bigger picture and knows where He wants us to go next, maybe we should try trusting that He knows what He's doing. I don't know about you but I want to discover my beautiful potential as the woman God created me to be.

So how do we do that?

Stay tuned for pt. 3