Purpose.

Every color plays a different NOTE in the song.

People want to discover their purpose. Every human eventually asks the big question

 “What is the point of my life?

My husband is working full time and I’m home full time. I have a lot of time to question this season of my life. We recently watched the movie “Hugo” (go see it, it’s brilliant!) and one of the quotes talked about the world being one big machine and we all have a small PART to make the machine work. It’s very profound in relation to God’s big story. He knew us in our mother’s womb, He had a plan for us and a purpose for us before we were born, and at some point in our journey we ask the questions “What is my purpose? What part am I in this big machine? What role do I play in God’s story?”

Well, I’m not feeling very PURPOSEFUL or even USEFUL.

I am a Christian woman who genuinely wants to live more like Christ taught in the Bible and earnestly seeks His view on my life. If I’m going by Christ’s teachings then PURPOSE is to reach out to the needy, take care of the orphans and widows, eagerly welcome people into my home, joyfully give my finances to those in need, but you know what? Here’s the clincher….. NO ONE NEEDS ME. 

I don’t say that out of pity for myself. I say that as a fact. A fact that I just woke up to. Allow me to explain with a couple examples.

Example 1: “Dear Missionary, I would love to come help your mission. Could you use two young energetic newlyweds? I look forward to hearing from you. Blessings, Heidi.” Missionary response, “Hi Heidi, Congratulations on your wedding. Thank you for your eagerness to help. We don’t have the space to accommodate guests. Continue praying and seeking the Lord’s direction. Regards, Missionary.”

Example 2: Ok I’ll try a big organization like Feed My Starving Children. I can’t even VOLUNTEER with them until my appointment three months from now for a one time Saturday morning event.

Example 3: A chaplain gets up to speak in church about needing women volunteers at the prison. My ears perk up. I am eager to serve. Oh, but there’s only two time slots a week for two hours each.

Example 4: I try offering a helping hand to Katie in Uganda, a young girl who adopted 14 girls and started a feeding program, but her assistant responds with a general Katie is too busy doing God’s work to answer emails.

Praise the Lord needs are being met, Katie is getting the support she needs, but here am I, one young woman who continues to hit her head on a wall every time someone says they don’t need help.

Jesus’ LIFE was reaching out to poor but everywhere I go to help the poor, they are already being taken care of and I’M NOT NEEDED.

The government plays god with all their programs and welfare, and takes the job of Christians and the job of the Church away from us, takes the job away from people like me. The government is TAKING money from the middle class and rich to pay for programs for the poor. Jesus said to give JOYFULLY to the poor, not give BITTERLY to the government so they can take care of the poor for us. Can I get an Amen here?! I have plenty of Scripture references to make this a whole separate discussion.

I WANT to take care of the poor and the widow, I WANT to reach out to the needy, I WANT to visit those in prison. I EAGERLY STRIVE to live a life like Jesus exemplified, but no one lets me do the PURPOSE I was meant to do. I can’t even help families in my own church because government programs are already helping them and they say they don’t need my help. 

So I sit here, all my energies wasting away and the only place I feel USEFUL is on this blog (Ha!).

Is there an answer to all this fuzz? Yes.

Jesus wasn’t concerned with government. He respected the laws of the land but if it was different laws from God, He listened to God above all else. Jesus was focused on His personal, daily walk with the Father. He listened to the voice of the Father. When God said Go to city of Galilee, He went there. When God said cover this man’s eyes with mud, He covered the man’s eyes with mud.

All we can do is listen to God’s voice in our life today. And Obey.

Maybe I’m not a celebrity missionary like Katie in Uganda, maybe I’m not part of an organization that helps the masses, but I’m Heidi Hinnenkamp, a married woman from Minnesota and God knew me in my mother’s womb and created me and knew my PURPOSE before I was born. I have a small ROLE in His big story; I just have to listen to His voice today.

Ladies of beauty….. accessorize yourselves in the PURSUIT of discovering your God given purpose. Discipline yourself daily to LISTEN to God’s voice in your life to hear what you are meant to do and what ONE life you can impact.