Stay at Home Mom... or Wife.

Should we be doing everything in our power to find a way to stay home with our kids or has our culture gotten so far off track that we no longer value the role of mom or wife? 

Maybe that question is a hot button, I know it is, but it sure has been a popular topic of conversation in several women groups I've been a part of or observed so let's talk about it. 

Some women work full time, some work part time, some go on maternity leave and eagerly go back to work, some cry for two weeks after going back to work then quit, some love their job and put their babies in full time daycare, some stay home; women are all different and that's part of what makes us beautiful.

I understand we don't always have a choice to stay home and there are many single moms who have to work, I'm not talking about that here. I'm bringing up the topic for those wives and/or mothers who have the CHOICE. 

And those of us women who do have a choice, how are we choosing to spend our day? 

What we do with our day is how we choose to spend our time. 

All I have is my perspective through my experiences and my time in prayer, and that's all I can offer you. I've been home for 3 years first as a wife now as a mom. I've come to know many people throughout these years who don't understand how I can stay home day after day; if I get stir crazy or bored out of my mind. I've heard every comment in the book, you name it it's probably been said to me.Some days I do go crazy but in my perspective, I would do anything to continue staying home and I wouldn't change one day over these last few years. That might sound crazy and absurd to you, but I would sacrifice living in a fancy house or driving my dream car, I would accept hand me downs and shop at garage sales, I would put off my career (maybe forever if life happens that way) if that meant I got to stay home with my kids and embrace being a wife. 

How could this woman think this way? What is wrong with her you may be thinking, but you want to know why I think that way?

Because I believe it's just that valuable. Because I value spending my whole day with my son and giving my whole heart and all my best energy to my husband. I will happily sacrifice all those 'things' any day because God has graciously shown me what truly matters and I have chosen to spend my time on those things. 

I overheard a woman talking about how lonely she is; she works a full time job during the day and goes home to her husband at night so how could she be lonely. I have my lonely days, home just me and Asher boy, I'm not surrounded by people at a job all day so how could this woman who is working be lonely. 

Before you get the women's rights movement on top of me, hear me out. I believe God designed women to be home and to furiously love our husbands and to train up our children in the right ways and to live in community with other women who are also home. I believe He designed us to fulfill our woman role as wives and mothers and to stay home so we can fully embrace that role with our whole hearts and minds. I'm lonely because there aren't many other women embracing that God given design and the woman working full time is lonely because she isn't living in community with other women. 

My beautiful friend, hear me. God designed women to be so different, so intricate, and so lovely. God designed us to be blooming flowers all blossoming in our own ways. He designed us to nurture all our gifts and develop our talents. Look at the women around you, read a biography, women are incredibly gifted in so many things; art, music, poetry, writing, creativity, fashion, the list goes on and on. Some women can make the Bible come to life through teaching, some women can turn a piece of garbage into art on the wall, some women can throw a party together in their sleep, holy moly, I'm thinking of all the women in my life and what they can do. Some women have an eloquent way with words, some women can turn your tears into smiles the instant you walk through their door, and some women can make you laugh until you cry. 

God made women to be so incredibly delightful and He made us to live in community with each other so we could bring those delightful qualities into the light and help each other blossom. We are all in a blooming process and we need each other in order to bloom. 

The problem I'm seeing is a total breakdown in women relationships. I believe our culture has gotten so far off track and lead women to believe it's more valuable to spend our time working so we can make money so we can have all the things we want and give our kids all the things they need and live this certain lifestyle and maintain this certain level of busyness. But reality is at the end of our day, we spent our time at a job and our child spent their time with someone else and before we know it, our kids are 5 years old and going to their first day of preschool and our busyness didn't leave any time left over to grow a precious relationship with our kids. 

Call me crazy, but I will fight to stay home and eagerly sacrifice all the things I 'think I need' so I can be the one teaching my babies, so I can be the one making memories with them everyday, so I can be the one watching their every step, so I can be the first kiss my husband gets when he comes home, and I can have all my best energy still overflowing when we have family time because I believe it's just that valuable. 

I'm not for one second judging you my friend, I'm simply a woman of faith sharing what God has graciously shown me. I encourage you to weigh what I say with scripture, see if my challenge lines up with the Word of God. I encourage you to stop and truly get yourself quiet before the Lord and look at your life, list out your priorities and ask yourself how do I want to spend my time and am I willing to sacrifice whatever I need to in order to pursue what God desires for me?

God may want you to continue working, I don't know your path, maybe you still have your best, overflowing energy leftover when it comes to family time, maybe working your job is for a season, we can't know what God wants for us unless we pause and truly quiet our hearts and seek His will for our lives. I'm simply challenging you to pursue God's heart for women and toss the world's view out the window.