Mother in waiting

When I so desperately wanted to meet my husband, my mentor told me I was simply a "Lady in waiting," and now I meet women who long to be a mom, maybe I should tell them they are simply a "Mother in waiting...."

Many women wait months, years, sometimes even a lifetime to get pregnant. I don't understand why it's easy for some and long-waiting for others, or why it never happens for some women. There are women in the Bible who waited and waited; modern day women who try and try month after month.

It just doesn't seem fair.

So again I turn to Jean, for a wise mother's perspective ("A Mother's Heart" By: Jean Fleming). Jean finds herself questioning why some women have to wait  to get pregnant and why others don't wait at all? Women of the Bible, Hannah, Elizabeth, Rebekah, Samson's mom and of course, Sarah, all had to wait years or were told they were barren. It didn't seem fair in their stories or even that there was any kind of purpose in their waiting, but Jean finds God did have a purpose for each woman. God had something special in mind. "God gave each woman a special child- a child with a specific purpose- and He wanted the glory." She goes on to say, "Everyone must know that God did it. The awe and wonder of conception is often on us, since anyone can conceive- rich or poor, educated or uneducated, godly or ungodly- we can easily forget the part God plays in every birth. Unless a sense of wonder accompanies parenthood, we may either take our responsibility too lightly or else cling too tightly to our children."

It seems, through the stories of these Biblical women, God did what He needed to do to transform their mentality in whatever way was needed and through their season of waiting they laid a strong foundation of prayer for their special child. Most often the faith of these women grew immensely through prayer and fasting, relying on God and going through the process of waiting. God brought them to a place of closer intimacy through the trial and test of waiting.

This hit me like a bag of bricks because in the moment I saw my 2 blue lines on the pregnancy test, I felt that 'awe and wonder of conception'. How is it possible I felt it when I wasn't one of the women who endured months of trying? I believe I felt it because I literally could not try to take any kind of credit whatsoever for getting pregnant. We didn't plan for it, we didn't put it in the budget, I didn't beg; it was all God. He gets all the glory. Period.

It was like God saw that I was at my lowest struggling point, fully relying on Him to meet all my needs and then He said "Now I will bless you with a son and I will take care of you because I have a specific purpose for Asher". All God. He gets all the glory. I couldn't have become pregnant on my own strength if I tried. God brought me to that place of 'awe and wonder' through a different kind of difficult waiting season and at the end was a little life, a special baby with a specific purpose. My role is to mother Asher, train him to fear God and always remember he was conceived for God's purposes.

Even if it finally clicks in my head why God allows some women to wait and others not to wait, my prayer is still that I can fully understand Asher is from God and for His purposes. He will be a little joy, yes, but he isn't for me, God isn't granting my third wish; he is for God's purposes all the days of his life. Just like Samson, Isaac, John the Baptist, and Samuel were all born for God's purposes and their mothers fully understood that, even if took 90 years for Sarah to learn.  

I pray I always remember my season of waiting, always remember what it took for me to fully rely on God and always consider women who wait for a baby month after month.

The face of waiting is never easy no matter what it looks like, but God always has a specific purpose and always has something special in mind.