Uganda?!

One time as a 14 year old girl, I heard about Uganda. Then someone brought it up again. I blew it off. Then there was a tv commercial on the kids in Uganda. My attention was grabbed in that moment. Tears ran down my cheeks. I even sent a little bit of money. But then I blew it off. Again Uganda came up. Then Watoto Choir came to our church and it felt like someone dropped a bag of bricks in my hands, and I dropped. At this point I was just confused. But still I blew it off.

           

If we look in Scripture, we see that Jesus met the needs of ONE person at a time. He reached out to the needy ONE person at a time. He fed ONE person at a time. He took care of the sick ONE person at a time. Jesus said,  “What you do for the least of these, you do for me.” Blessed are the hands and feet of Jesus.

I’ve been a Christian my whole life and taught Scripture since a young age. As I grew in truth and knowledge, and my eyes were opened to the world around me, I am NOW seeing how I chose ME almost every time. My husband says we make choices everyday and there is multiple paths we can take in life. Could I have chosen to go to Uganda straight after high school graduation? Yes. But I chose the college path. Could I have chosen to stay in South Africa? Yes. But I chose to come home and make stupid mistakes. Could I have chosen to quit Trinity? Yes. But I chose to stay with a boy who was fogging my view. Could I have chosen to give EVERYTHING up and just GO? Yes.

Now here is where my SELFISHNESS battles, where my FLESH battles my SPIRIT. In my heart of hearts, in my SPIRIT, I am passionately in love with Jesus and I deeply desire to please him and live out the words of Scripture just like he did over 2000 years ago. I sit in my room or in my nice apartment surrounded by so many nice things, piles of clothes, several pairs of shoes, clusters of jewelry and makeup, all things lace and pearl. I wake up in my expensive cozy Anthropologie beadspread, take a hot shower, eat my choice of delicious breakfast while gazing at my beautiful lake view, put on a cute outfit, curl my high-end product thickened hair and drive to my destination in my little yellow Volkswagen Beetle.

I have struggled for YEARS being surrounded by all these blessings.

And I would give it ALL up.

Or would I?

My FLESH battles. Yes I could’ve CHOSEN at any of those points in my life to give it all up, to quit college, to quit any of the boyfriends and yet I didn’t. After going all around the world and seeing the poverty, the pain, the sickness; it is close to impossible to live a NORMAL life.

The inner turmoil has always been simmering inside. I BEG God let it erupt, to put all that energy somewhere.

I chose a path and that path took me through college, through relationships and into a marriage.

Did I choose selfishly along the way?

Uganda. It STILL comes up everywhere I go. Watoto Village leader came to a conference and rocked my world. Uganda was mentioned at church. And most recently a friend gave me a book “Kisses from Katie”. I’m not blowing it off anymore. I’m alert and aware.

But what does it all mean?

I feel like my FLESH always beats my SPIRIT and I continually choose to live for ME when I don’t want comforts, materials and pleasures. What I want is MORE of Jesus. And yet I am thankful for the overflowing blessings the Lord has poured over my life. I don’t wish for poverty, but if that’s what Jesus did then so would I if God called me to it. I just pray that if and when the CHOICE is in front of me that I will CHOOSE Jesus. It’s like if a gun was pointed at my head asking if I choose Jesus would I say YES in that moment?

“Each new day again I’ll choose. There is no one else for me. None by Jesus.” And again the words have new meaning still 2 days later. Do I choose Jesus AGAIN each new day?

I pray that I would say YES.

I pray that I would CHOOSE Jesus.

I pray that I would give up EVERYTHING and GO if called to go.

I pray that I would let the Lord truly REIGN over my life.

I pray that I would never be complacent, ignorant or comfortable.

The truth is I learned about the sacrifice of Jesus at such a young age that I never fully grasped the depth of meaning. And then I lived according to church, parents, and friends. Thankfully all of those people in my life were great but I was comfortable surrounded by materials and worldly pleasures. I was NEVER SATISFIED. Once we know the sacrifice of Jesus, worldly things can never satisfy us again and yet the world tries to soothe us with temporary pleasures and temptations. I never want to be so settled and comfortable that I choose me. 

What do YOU choose?

Ladies of true beauty….. accessorize yourselves in COURAGE to choose Jesus daily.

Take care of ONE person at a time.

I’m pretty sure I chose ME several times throughout my life when I should’ve chose JESUS. But TODAY I choose Jesus and AGAIN tomorrow I choose Jesus. What that means…… I don’t know yet.