She wore purple.

 

She wore purple. Fine linens and gowns.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and when she speaks, she speaks with wisdom. She gets up early to prepare for the day and works into the night caring for her family. She brings good to her husband and enriches his life. She is trustworthy and energetic. She shows MERCY to those in need and gives instructions with kindness.  I’m describing the perfectly unattainable proverbs 31 woman as she had several servants helping in her daily tasks, but we can strive to become like this woman when we plant seeds in the garden of our heart that will grow to produce fruit and beauty.

I knew a woman who wore purple. She always wore classy clothes, 

flattering jewelry and tasteful makeup. She had the prettiest gray hair and always smelled like sweet flowers. When I was a young adult, I asked myself why she was such a lovely person, everything about her was lovely. I was part of a Bible study she led and it was so evident she had a reverence and fear of the Lord. After that class, I always associated purple with a woman of loveliness who feared the Lord. Historically, purple is a color of royalty, majesty and honor. Maybe it doesn’t really matter how we dress but it does matter the seeds we’re planting and the growth we’re cultivating. Matthew says people will know if we love Jesus or not by the fruit of our lives.  For women gardeners, we know the work required to plant seeds, the weeds that need to be plucked and the thorns that can destroy but there is always beauty that sprouts among the thorns. 

The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord (Proverbs 9:10) 

and when we seek after Him like searching for treasure, 

He will continually water and prune us to become more like Him.

He is calling women back to holiness, simplicity, and femininity.

If we’re listening to the advice of King Lemuel’s mother when 

she was telling her son in proverbs what kind of woman to marry,

I can say with personal conviction it really 

does matter how we portray ourselves, 

it matters how we speak, 

how we respond to our children,

how we love our husbands, and 

yes how we dress as well. 

We are a silent witness by our fruit.

 “A little while ago an English paper offered a prize for the best definition of a lady. 

This is the answer that took the prize: 

What is a lady?

To be a lady means, rightly, to be a gentlewoman who shows by her every word and action a sweet and gentle dignity, with gracious charm of manner; a woman whose heart is pure and true, who is tender toward all suffering, who sympathizes with those in trouble and is 

ever ready to give that which costs her some effort and self-denial. A lady thinks no 

work derogatory, and no one is deemed too low to receive courtesy and kindness. She is pure and good in every detail of life, a true friend, and a ‘ministering angel’ in 

sorrow and in sickness.”

We are never beyond hope of becoming this lady.

I am reminded the Lord offers this loveliness for any of His daughters 

who are willing to seek after it. We are all becoming and all in different seasons of growth. 

A season to bee lovely so we can learn to love better.  

A season to bee restored so we can have more to give. 

A season to bee brave so we can take a step forward in our purpose.

And some seasons we need to just. bee. still. 

In one season we are the disciple, in another season we may become the teacher. 

Jesus taught twelve disciples and was as close as brothers with three. He modeled MERCY  and offered a free gift of hope. Those disciples went on to spread the good news of hope across the world and people believed even though they didn’t see. It’s amazing to me in our world today where “yesterday’s news is old news” that the news of Jesus is still as alive and full of hope as it was 2,000 years ago. 

The seed started with a mother who humbly answered God’s call to bring a baby into the world, the One who would be our Savior. .

When we know the MERCY of the Father in sending Jesus, we are compelled to show that MERCY to others and so begins the process of becoming more like Him, gentle, generous, and gracious.

I had a college professor who genuinely cared about me in one of my hardest seasons and he said, “We are all in a blooming process”. It stuck with me all these years. A seed has to be planted in rich soil. Then God the Great Gardener cultivates that seed and it sprouts through the trials of life, the pruning of hard seasons and the stillness of a garden. 

Flowers always take time to grow and have a season to bloom. God designed women to bloom in season  and like a flower that eventually withers, beauty fades but a woman who endures with the fear of the Lord will be praised.

Bee Ministries

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I'll be honest, I have no idea what the purpose of this blog is anymore. It has changed and shifted so many times over the years. Seeds have been planted, some have grown and some of have faded into the dirt, maybe others are taking time to bloom.

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But here's another seed I'll throw to the wind and see where God wants it to land.

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Dreams. We were all born hard-wired to be someone with a special purpose that only we can do. While some are meant to be great speakers, others are meant to be great prayer warriors, others get a great vision to run after. I've known women who never want kids but then God plants the dream on their heart to adopt 5 kids. I've known other women who love to design homes and as their life blossoms over time, they continue pursuing their dream and it blooms into a booming business. By "know" I mean heard stories on the radio or read a book, but I am so inspired by the uniqueness of each woman God specifically designed for a special purpose.

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Out of this fascination with the beauty of women came my dream of

>>> BEE Ministries <<<

So many women, myself included, don't always discover their God-given dreams and purpose. They either don't pursue it or don't believe it. In a world where extroverts and outgoing is celebrated, I find there's many women who slink back believing they aren't anything special. They blend into the crowd and fade into the fuzz. Some women might like it there, but other women have so much beauty to offer.

The question is HOW do we pursue what's on our heart? HOW do we find our purpose?

The answer is we BE Still.

God longs for us to just BE. Be with Him. Enjoy Him. Enjoy His beautiful creation. He created us to be human BEings, not human DOings. He created us to Be.

Some seasons we may be learned to BEE Lovely.

Some seasons we're learning to BEE Brave.

Others seasons God says slow down and BEE Still.

It's ok not to stand up in church and sing another song. It's ok to sit and listen (or in my case doodle new ministry ideas). It's ok to sit.

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The whole point is God wants our whole heart.

If we have a dream on our heart, the point is to take steps and watch it bloom.

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Magnolias take 10 years to bloom.

Daisies bloom in bright sun.

Lilies need a cool winter dormancy before they're ready to bloom.

Evening Primrose blooms at night.

Are you starting to see the point here?
Every flower blooms but every flower has a different growth pattern and different seasons.

It's time we surrender ourselves to listening for God's voice.

His plans for our lives are so much better than our plans.

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It is just so incredibly exciting to me how God truly does have a plan and He can change things in our life so fast. SO. Fast. You can feel like your life is pointless, the days can feel endless and then God can open up the floodgates and pour down the blessing. 

He can say wait.. . .wait..  . .ok now it's time.

But we have to have open hearts and be anticipating and listening and ready to obey. 

We have to keep our hands open and loosely hold onto the life we have now because God can say "Now will you go?"

And if you're listening and if you're willing to say Yes, the powerful move of God can wake you up and change your life, and you can >BLOOM< into something unimaginably beautiful.

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My 3 yo took this shot on our nature walk and I just thought, "Wow if a 3 year old little boy thinks this is beautiful then I should start believing God can bloom me into something beautiful too."
So what do you think my friend? Will you start BELIEVING too?

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Lone Flower

I keep thinking about a lone flower standing so tall, lovely and strong.
<<>Be Still and Wait<>>
We want to go out and conquer. We want to go do, be busy, and we don't think there's any value in BEEing still.

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Jesus had 12 disciples. 
The night before his crucifixion he had 11.
He asked 3 to follow him to go pray.
8 disciples were left sitting, waiting in the garden.
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God brings some lives into the world to do a great work, some to carry a great burden and some simply to BE.
"Jesus is delighted by the sight of them, for through their mere fragrance and beauty they have brought Him joy. And their existence and the preservation of their loveliness in the valley has lifted the Master's heart. So you need not complain if you are one of these flowers." 
(excerpt taken from "Streams in the Desert" p.482)
<<<>>>
BEing still doesn't mean doing nothing. When I see a homeless woman it's ok my heart is breaking, that just means I have a heart and I'm feeling what God feels but that doesn't mean I have to go "save the homeless". I don't have to spend my days wishing I was in South Africa doing something valuable with my time or walking the streets preaching the Bible. It's ok to BE a mom and sit in the backyard watching them play. It's ok to feel like you're in a circus of toddlers and diapers and just KNOW God is still in control.

Like right now. It's ok I'm writing this post in the stillness of my house, while all 3 crazy tots are finally napping (thankfully all at the same time believe me that is rare), because my heart is praising Jesus in the midst of the circus and I'm grabbing some stillness when I can get it. 
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Sometimes I think I'm just a sitting flower in God's great garden.
I'm not off conquering the world or on some grand adventure preaching the love of Jesus to some people group who have never heard the name Jesus.
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A rose can't be a lily.
A fly can't make honey.
A pelican can't sing a bluebird's song. 
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What is my song?

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 I don't do new year's resolutions, I'm not a goal setter and I'm pretty much a rule breaker. I get bored really quick so I try new things and lose interest a couple weeks later. I don't say that in a bad way. I'm a loyal, committed, my yes will be yes kind of person, but there's a reason I don't set new year goals. I don't set myself up for failure. If I realize my new hobby isn't fun then I'm not pressured to keep doing it. 
I spend January praying and fasting for what God has for me to focus on for the year. 
<<<<>>>>
This year, it feels like a fresh start, a new day.
We were drained to the very last drop in 2016 all the way up until literally New Year's Eve was the first time no one in my house was sick. 
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So today I declare this year will be a year of JOY.
A year to BEE still, bee lovely, bee still and wait.
A year to pray and wait.
A year to let God rebuild us stronger.

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What is this year going to be for YOU?!?
What is your song? 
Time to find your niche, your voice, your song.

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Baby Bird Room

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A Baby bird room inspired by pearls and peach.

I love this sweet little girl to death and every detail in her room reflects it.

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<><>Hummingbird<><>

I'm not a spiritual, one-with-nature kind of hippy girl but I picked a bird for each of my kids. I love what birds symbolize and the Biblical references to birds. 

Soar high on the wings of eagles

His eye is on the sparrow

God takes care of the birds how much more will He take care of us

Birds are free and strong and sing their own song.

Hummingbirds glisten in the sun and they're so resilient for being so small, they're fighters that weather the windiest of storms.

 

I saved my dolls and books from my childhood for my hoped for daughter.

We have hoped and prayed for her, longed and loved her long before she was born.

"For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:13-14

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<<The World is Your Oyster, little one>>

It may not be a Biblical truth but I love the parallel to the hardships we face in life. Some oysters are easy to open, they're harder to open the bigger they get but it's worth the struggle to open for the pearl. A pearl is a treasure worth pursuing and fighting for. God has a beautiful plan for your life and it takes pursuing, prayer, struggle and courage to unlock the oyster in order to discover God's treasure. Our true treasure is God's Word and in it we discover God's will for our lives. You are a fighter and we pray courage and bravery over you to allow God's plan to unfold in your life.

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 "Mother of Pearl"

Daddy carved Cora's name. I realize we're not all skilled or craft or artsy but I do believe whole heartedly we express our love in our own unique way, why else do we live in such a pinterest world full of people expressing so much beautiful things? I don't compare to pinterest anymore, I try not to copy, but only use it for inspiration to jumpstart my own creativity and find my own song to sing. 

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My prayer for my kids is to discover their own song and sing the song God has put on their heart. 

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I believe it's so important for kids to have a fun room, a sanctuary, a safe place, a special place to rest. It doesn't have to be pretty and pinterest, but it should reflect their mama's love and prayers.

Holiday House Tour

Many of you have been asking for a tour of our sunny palm tree house, alright alright without further ado I'm excited to give you a little glimpse into our holiday wonderland.

 <> Don't worry more to come <> 

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 Welcome. . . as we transform our home and do what we love to do.

This #craftnerd mama is so thankful for my bright, cheery house and eager to begin projects in making it a safe home for our kids.

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My boys have been through a lot over the last year with the house renovation, selling the house, moving across country, renting on the island, enduring Hurricane Matthew, relocating and finally moving into our house, and it's this mama's job to create for them a sweet spot they can call home.

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 Collages are such an easy fun way to make a room personalized.

 And a sweet spot we can call home too. For 5 years people told us to make our bedroom our sanctuary, make our marriage a priority but somehow it always ended up being the dumping ground and dropped to last priority with a mattress on the floor. I hated being in our room so I finally put my foot down and demanded we create a sanctuary for us.

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 And a sweet spot for friends.

Hot Coffee? Iced Tea? Come on in and drink it in.

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More to come as we settle in. Stay tuned :)
What's next?!?

Dining room needs some cozying up, bathrooms need some warming up, guest room needs cleaning up.

Taking Joy Back.

One month has passed. Hi my lovely friend. I realize I said I'd pen pal you every week and who knows what surprises would show up on our journey South. I said I'd give a home tour, write to you about how I survived with 3 tots, share the warm weather but here I am starting this post and deleting it a thousand times. Nothing seems worth writing home about. I wrestle with being quiet, being still, listening and feeling like I have a voice as a mom with three tots and that reality has hit. . . hard.

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It's so easy as a mom to get caught up in the whirlwind starting at 7am child alarm, no sorry I take that back, starting at 3am baby hungry alarm, oop wait I take that back, starting at 11:30pm after putting the boys down to bed for the 12th time, are we back to yesterday? It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind and I underestimated how empty my tank would go through these last months. I over-confidently said I would be fine moving and don't get me wrong, I have loved taking the leap, but I couldn't foresee how much of myself I would lose in the process.
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My sweet mama friend, right now go ask your husband if you can 
have a night out.

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There's something beautiful and powerful that happens when you don't have 3 littles clinging to you and you don't have a mental responsibility to keep tabs on them every second of the day and you don't have laundry to change or dinner to make. All you have is snuggly scarf, your computer and a warm Caramel Latte with no distractions, just peace and quiet and then you're filled again with ....Joy.

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I fought for that quiet time in the morning then Cora arrived then the move happened. I was demanding nap times to be had. I was desperate for time with Jesus but that quiet time seemed to be slipping further and further away with the wind. I had lost my footing and before I knew it my whole day was filled with "kid stuff", people visiting, if I couldn't find solid ground, I was going to try desperately to get my kids grounded. The problem with only putting others before yourself is pieces of yourself slowly get widdled away until you're nothing but a toothpick.

Go find your Joy again. Take it back.

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<><><><><> Enthralled <><><><><>

You know what it's like running on fumes, I've been sputtering along, but what I'm completely amazed and enthralled with through this last month in our new house is the JOY in my kids. They point me to Jesus, the innocent, exuberant joy we have in Jesus. I'm supposed to be their firm rock, their security establishing boundaries and manners, teaching them truth and Bible, and here they are teaching me and keeping me strong. 

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The beauty of a relationship with Jesus is He doesn't condemn us for making mistakes or running ourselves down to fumes or losing ourselves. He is completely enthralled with us. If we just stop for a moment and really think about that. . . Jesus . . .is. . . the reason we celebrate Christmas. He. . .is. . .the reason we can have Joy. 
He . . .is. 

He wants us to KNOW Him

To be WITH Him

To LOVE Him

To Be Still and Know He . . .is. . .God.

Our world can be buzzing but if we find our way back to sitting in the presence of Jesus (yes, it can even happen at Starbucks!) then we can find overwhelming peace that passes understanding.

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Isn't that so incredibly, unbelievably exciting? That we can have a joyful relationship with the God of the Universe, the God who sent His only son Jesus to accomplish the final hour on the cross FOR US so we wouldn't have to live in despair anymore or live in depression or live in pain or live in discouragement. We can stop the buzz and whirlwind and fix our eyes of Jesus. THAT is something to celebrate. He is why we celebrate.

We can say "Jesus I need you, please slow down my crazy, please remind me what Joy looks like again, please give me a firm footing again so I can be strong for my kids not the other way around. Thank you for shining your innocent, pure, love and joy through my exuberant children. Thank you for sustaining me through difficult transition. Thank you for letting me utter your sweet name when I'm so weak. Thank you for letting me rest in you when I'm so worn out. Thank you for taking my place on the cross.

And suddenly I can fully appreciate my surroundings again, I can embrace this beautiful weather and savor every last drop of this Latte and smile joyfully knowing I am fearfully and wonderfully made and loved. 

Ahhhh.. . . .  drink it in.

Where is your foundation today?!?

Don't.

If you've ever compared your inside life to others "glamorous" outside life then listen here, my friend.

Don't.

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I've had several people comment about my glamorous move to a paradise island. 

Everything seems dreamy when you're looking from the outside or focusing on the hardships you're facing in your own life. Anything else looks better than facing your own life.

Here's what I want to say to you friend who is envious of my life.

>>> I'm still living real life <<<

I would rather live inland so I can meet friends who aren't tourists here today, gone tomorrow.

I'm still wiping boogers, grocery shopping, correcting toddlers when they're whiny, tuning out an infant who screams every time we're in the car otherwise I would get in an accident, I'm still a mom, cooking dinner with 'hangry' children, giving baths, chasing my 3 yo at 10pm because he doesn't want to go to bed, facing each day alone while my husband goes to work, I still have to love my husband unconditionally while we get things lined up to move into our house and if you've ever gone through that you know it can be very stressful on a marriage. 

You want to know my truth? Here it is. It's not glamorous. I cry every single day because it's so beyond lonely and feels like when you move everyone has forgotten about you and you're just isolated on a island with 3 toddlers staring at you every morning ready to go play and all you want to do is gasp for air but you drink your coffee, say a prayer and ask for strength to face the day and to find a way to thrive so your kids can have happy memories of this time.

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The "glamorous" life isn't reality. It doesn't exist. Nobody has a glamorous life. 

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I have to choose to find the joy in my day too.

I have to find contentment in all things too.

I have to pray for a better attitude of gratefulness too.

{ Even if island life seems glamorous, it's just a different way of living }

When I was engaged to my soon to be husband, someone told me "Fighting isn't going to just magically go away, but is he the man you want to fight with for the rest of your life?" Life isn't going to magically become glamorous because you move to an island so where do you want to live your imperfect life? We asked ourselves do we want to live it in a state of endless winters or a state of year-round sunshine? 

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We all make choices of HOW we want to live, who we want to marry and we make those choices every day. I have to choose daily to rely on Jesus for strength. I have to choose daily to grow in becoming a great mom, I have to choose daily to love my husband and living in cold Minnesota or on a warm Island doesn't change those choices.

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Comparison is the thief of Joy.

So go live your own life and start loving it. 

Embrace the struggle and make the choices.

Me, I'm not going to magically stop crying everyday. I'm just walking through a difficult season, that's just a fact, and those tears and prayers are getting me through. I know it's temporary but isn't that the point? Some seasons wear us out and completely toss us around but if we can keep clinging to Jesus through it that's what matters.

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Look it's a new day.
The sun is rising again.
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Zane sees the moon disappearing.
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